There are things that go on that I know about but, happily, I never witness.
Today I saw something I’ve purposefully tried to avoid. It sucked the energy right out of me. I wanted to turn tail and run.
I survived. It wasn’t anything drastic to anyone but me. And those involved probably don’t even know, or care, how I felt (still feel).
Just another reminder that it’s time for me to move on.
The internal monologue that goes on whenever I cave to junk food.
This is most true about me and pizza.
I no longer make my “friends” laugh. They seem to be laughing at my expense.
Who listens to my problems? Nobody. When I bring them up, my “friends” check out. They stare at the TV, or decide they have to tell me about something they just read, or focus on a task that doesn’t require that much attention.
This isn’t a one way street. I’ve supported them in the past and am still there if needed. But sometimes I need an ear. I need some affirmation that I’m valued and cared for. Even if they can’t solve my problems.
Am I alone in feeling alone?
She struggled with her sadness, but tried to conceal it, to divide it into smaller and smaller parts and scatter these in places she thought no one would find them.
Great House by Nicole Krauss (via mphny)